"Dating After Divorce: Things To Think About Regarding Dating After Divorce"
Dating after divorce is a much debated topic due to the psychological and emotional impact it can have on people. Dating after divorce can be complex, too often divorcees don't consider the ramifications of dating after divorce before they jump into...
"Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source"
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look...
FAQs About Internet Dating
If you’re interested in meeting new people to date, the Internet match services are a great new option. The number of people joining them is staggering. If you’re new to the experience, here’s an FAQ for you: Q: How can I be sure he’s not...
How to Stop Divorce - Make Everything about Both of You
Whether you consider yourself together or 'two'- gether, you
will both find a wonderfully comforting yet exciting familiarity
with each other. Familiarity never truly spawns into contempt,
as the saying goes. Relationships that exist without...
Paoers for Divorce
Paoers for your divorce are very important as they deal with legal matters. You should always have the right paoers for divorce to prevent any legal complications in the future. Your paoers for divorce should include provisions for child support,...
When Something's Not Right About Your Career, Part VI/VI: Second Chance
We’ll continue looking at how discovering your natural talents can make a positive difference in your life at any age, at any stage of the game. <
EXAMPLE 1
Sam, 60, just retired from a dismal career selling insurance. He hated it, and predictably, was mediocre at it. He was planning to escape to Bermuda. However, our conversations revealed he’d really like to be doing fulfilling work—for the first time in his life.
The results of Sam’s StrengthsFinder™ profile ( http://www.susandunn.cc/assessments.htm ) were: Positivity, WOO (Winning Others Over), Empathy, Communicator and Activator. Positivity (=optimism), is the facilitator of EQ and all good things, and also the prime predictor for a successful salesperson.
Something didn’t make sense.
A month later ... it turns out he had no confidence because he had never finished college. (The CISS showed this discrepancy.) Having attended a prep school, where he was in the bottom 1%, he had the impression he was dumb. He was then forced to leave college and get a job to support his family. His wife said she’d divorce him if he became a pilot, which was what he wanted to do. (The marriage dissolved anyway, of course.)
While his strengths were in fact not academic (there are some called Intellection, Learner and Input), he was able to see the unique strengths he had that others did not and therefore to have more confidence in what he had to offer a corporation.
He’s now selling something meaningful to him,
completing college online, getting his pilot’s license, and enjoying free choices. “I feel like I got a second chance at life,” he says.
EXAMPLE 2
Lulwa, a recent college graduate, is just starting a career selling insurance. She wonders if she has what it takes.
Her Campbell Interest & Skill Survey (CISS) ( http://assessments.ncspearson.com/assessments/tests/ciss.htm ) showed sales was a good fit for her, but it showed she had low confidence and needed to develop more skills in certain areas. This is understandable for someone just starting out in such a challenging field.
In coaching she decided “it’s in my blood,” and decide to invest the time in learning through experience on the job.
EXAMPLE 3
Tatiana is 40 and was a high-paid corporate manager. She also had migraines and chronic back pain, was having anxiety attacks, and had lost the desire to get up and go to work in the morning.
It turns out she had a dream – she wanted to be a professional photographer. Hers was a case of parental and societal expectations combined with “the golden handcuffs”—yes, it’s for sure she took a cut in pay.
However, she’s now in excellent physical and mental health, and knows it was the right decision. In EQ terms, we would say she had been letting her mind rule her heart, and others answer for her; what she wanted to do, didn’t “make sense” to her. Our bodies are faithful to our needs and emotions. They often give us the message we refuse to hear in any other way.
Our coaching revealed that someone else’s dream, and money alone, is never the path to happiness. Read “The Top Ten Ways to Achieve Happiness" ( http://topten.org/public/BL/BL209.html ).